UV's World: Care Tips--- Elders at your home --- #GuestPost by Manisha Vaishnav

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Eternal bliss from the deepest of the heart and respect is obtained,

When a strength less elder gets help without being asked for...

Only those would understand it better who have experienced the change of an active, healthy and full of life kind of body to a weak, dependent, helpless and bed ridden one.

Do you have such an elder member at your home ?

Then let me share some small yet essential tips about an Elder Care. ‎

(1) If the outfit of an elderly person is easy to wear and remove, loose, which have easier buttons, elastic, strings, Velcro and zips then it becomes comfortable for that elderly person and the care taker both.

(2) If the senior is bedridden then an Emergency Bell must be provided and kept it handy.

(3) Medicines, Napkins, Potable water, specs, charger, books, news papers or other objects of likings should be kept handy and easy to access.

(4) Cleanliness must be maintained of their dentures, bed sheet etc. This is really the primary measure against any possibility of an infection.

(5) You would have come across many incidents where people slip inside the bathroom. To avoid such an accident in the home one can keep an easy stopper a call bell can also be useful there. To sit there should be a box stool and to get up there should be an arrangement of the side handles. So that the support can be taken and getting up becomes easy.

(6) Allow them to do the tasks they love to do. “You can’t do it” must never be spoken to them. Trust and respect them. Occasionally you can invite their loved ones. Respect their past memories. Like it’s shown in that Bollywood movie ‘Munna Bhai M.B.B.S.” you can play the games of their liking let those be childish ones ...so what? That will keep them happy and thus healthy. “Rani toh... ?.. Papa ni...” (‘Queen only belongs to the father’ ...in the game of carom).

If you are taking them to watch a movie in a theater, in a music concert, to watch a play or on a picnic with the family and if you are capable financially you can certainly equip them with an adult diaper so that there is no moment of an embarrassment for them and they can again enjoy the moments with you as if they were young again with the self respect and thus they can gather the maximum of the happiness.

These smallest gestures will give them the sense of security, satisfaction and peace.

Many times due to the hush hush of the life, office pressures young kids and their spouse forget that those elders who sacrificed their own happiness for them, who made them reach to these heights and who loved them unselfishly are running towards the SUN SET of their life...just like a candle that melts gradually. Careful...! Make sure that by any thought- word or behaviour, out of any anxiety or excitement or under the effects of the circumstances of your occupations, they must never ever get hurt or made to run here and there after you.

The tsunami of your youth must not punish the shores of the seas which are otherwise at peace ! That will be an injustice to them...

...But yes... having read the above few lines one also mustn’t say “I already told them, leave us alone...you stay here only...don’t accompany us every where.” Consider them just like your kids only, they don’t need anything else but the happy surrounding.

(7) Many a times they are left with almost No Money. They are often told “ask, when needed”. Instead one must make an arrangement for their financial freedom.

(8) To an extent the kids and the elders both have similarities. They may feel the desire to taste new recipes, pamper the taste buds but stomach, digestive system may not cooperate. It may ask for some hard work but in small quantities one can certainly offer them those tasty yet easy to digest dishes. There are the tons of videos available on the YouTube to guide about the healthy and tasty recipes.

(9) There are some specific issues that require an attention when there is a single Gent elder. Management of grown nails and beard, unwanted hair, broken spectacles, wetting bed, forgetting things or dependency and loneliness may make them obstinate or even cry. Thus an old age may create disappointments. In such circumstances patience is an only key for the care takers. Never forget in our childhood they too tolerated us with the patience and even today they might be tolerating the difference of the nature and opinions, who knows!

(10) Some elders have a habit to repeatedly ask same questions and the other person may get irate too. That may turn out into a conflict as well at times. Again the solution lies in same mantra ‘calmness and patience’. To protect them from the insecurities in their aging both the elder and the young ones must develop an understanding.

(11) There is a child inside of every heart. Especially in the old age the concealed emotions emerge out. For an example before the natural teeth fell apart usually there is an intense desire of ‘taste’ emerges. After getting the dentures fit the person may not be able to accept the physical changes. Cataract, losing teeth or impaired hearing abilities can create a lot of confusions. Although these are the universal facts of the life but the heart doesn’t accept the reality.

Moreover during the young age that elderly person might have given up so many possibilities due to financial circumstances for their parents or kids. Like taste, hobbies, some ‘only me time’ opportunities, seeing the world without responsibilities and when such a person gets older the dissatisfaction shows its effects on the nature. Not the old age but the dependency harasses the person.

That is the reason why handy snacks and chocolate – candies can be handy edibles to satisfy the elders during short breaks of the day.

(12) Setting up a ‘Speed Dial’ number on the mobile phone or training them about how to use group messaging system is also an essential in today’s era so that a few family members can be informed quickly when the elder one is in the need of any help. With the availability of Whats App, Telegram , Facebook and other messengers it has become easier to communicate in 1-to-many fashion. Thus try to provide your senior member a good smart phone and they are taught also to use it. Just like how they would have taught you A...B...C...D... you too need to teach them the latest tech gadget – Smart Phone with patience.

Teach them how to use YouTube, Facebook, NEWS apps, Music apps etc. That will not only keep them engaged but also help their aging process to slow down. Even the science suggests that an aging brain must be engaged in learning something new to get some exercise and thus remain effectively functioning for longer.

If you are not in any financial bottle-necks you can arrange for a separate T.V. for them which may prevent many conflicts at home before the occurance.

These days the facility to 'listen the books' on mobile phone via 'audible books' is also there for those seniors who love reading. Click on the following to TRY FOR FREE for 30 Days.

If you are more affluent you may also place an Indoor Security Camera or CCTV Camera so that you can have an eye from any corner of the world and they also feel secured.

(13) Due to insecurities of the life they may say many good or bad things at times. The care taker has to understand this with utmost love so that there is no harsh reaction during such events. In those times they need to be handled as if they were kids. This will bring peace to them and their spoken words will allow them to vent up.

(14) It’s considered auspicious to have the elders present in the family gatherings, events and celebrations but that must happen only as per their free will. For your social prestige or any other motive they must not be forced to attend every event. Similarly the household where there is an elder or a kid less than 3 years of age must NOT BE VISITED without prior appointment, how much closer they are.

(15) Elders must have an updated government Identity Document. There must be a diary maintained having the record of the details of moles, body marks, birth marks etc. Or any specific medical condition if any. There are some Smart Pendants also available in the market that allow their kids residing far across to have an eye on their seniors right on their smart phones. This gadget is more useful for the caretakers or the kids of an elderly person with the medical condition of an Alzheimer.

Torch is also a very handy gadget for elders especially when their weakened bladder makes them run during the midnight or when a shining tiny object or jewel or a Medicinal Tablet has got misplaced.

Those elders who either due to an age or due to lack of strength or due to any disease have blurred or impaired speech can be provided a Magic Slate so that they can communicate by writing. Such a slate is helpful even in an ICCU where Oxygen Mask covers the face of an elder patient who wants to communicate. Write-Rub-Write is possible with such a slate.

In India the Police Department has allotted a special helpline dial number 1090 for the women and seniors that also must be there in the knowledge and records of the elder member.

(16) Sometimes the money gift by you to an elder one becomes a savings for them to be used in different needs. Either they can get a gift for their grand children or they can use as a donation at their will. Rather than a product gifting them money should be more helpful for them to use as per their own wish.

For an example if a gentle man gifts me Rs. 500 as a Birthday gift or a Diwali gift which I may expedite by gifting my grandson in giving him Rs. 201 as a Good Luck token or as pocket money and then by gifting my brother Rs. 201 during an occasion of BHAAI DOOJ and the remaining amount can be used to buy a sweet for any family gathering.

By doing this the money can be best converted in the token of AFFECTION. Here the money doesn’t exhibit the material riches but it helps in generating an emotion of ‘yes, I did my bit’ and that gives the self satisfaction.

It’s some KARMIC CONNECT which bring a soul as a person as our relative. We all are in the same journey then why not to complete it with mutual understandings and a win-win agenda ?

‎All of these aren’t taught in the schools. It only needs a loving heart. A loving care of an elderly acts like a silent source of the bliss. Then there remains no need of any donation or any worship ritual.

‎

‎If the self respect of an elder will be protected thy will remain in the happy state of mind and that itself will be the boosting and healing factor. We all have to see such days, such a single thought will inject the self discipline and that will trigger all the ideas about how to help the elders in any circumstances.

This reminds me of the lines by Poet Kalaapi...which mean...

During the season of FALL the fresh leaves laugh and the falling ones remind them that the same will be their end too...

Got it ???

--- Mrs. Manisha Yogesh Vaishnav

#manishavaishnav

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